So,which marriage will you be having? – Part 2

Ahem..So, remember the Part 1? Well, this is Part 2, which I’m sure you have figured out by now.

Ok, quick recap for the uninitiated. My friend from America is tired of searching for her Mr. Right and wants to settle for an arranged marriage, which according to her is so hassle free. Well, more blah blah blah..blah blah blah later, somehow I was entrusted with the all important task of giving her 10 reasons as to why she should go for an arranged marriage and 10 reasons why it should be a love marriage. The arranged marriage bit has already been done with, which thanks to your generous contribution of ideas, just did not go beyond 6 reasons. Grrrr… Somehow, I still havn’t come to terms with the fact that I, who belong to a country where arranged marriage is a way of life, couldnt even come up with 10 reasons supporting it. 😦

Anyways, now presenting **Drumroll** 10 reasons as to why, a love marriage is the way to go.

1) Well, the most simplest reason will have to be that, you know who you are getting married to..and better still you are actually in love with him. You are attracted to him and you don’t have to spend nights praying to God that you hope you are attracted to him. Don’t raise your eyebrows, I know of people, ok relatives, who have gotten married without having even spoken to their partner even once. Yup, one look at the photograph somehow sufficed. So ya, in a love marriage, you know the guy and what greater joy than getting married to the man you love.

2) Physical compatibility. Oh yes, no unwanted surprises on the first night. You know he/she will turn you on. Imagine, getting married and realising that he does nothing to stir you. Forget the fire in your loins. There is not even a spark there..**Shudder**

3) You know for a fact that he/she is straight. Dont, gimme that look. You think I’m exaggerating? Really people, this finding out that the only thing straight about your partner is his hair, is becoming more common everyday. I personally know somebody who strongly suspects that her partner is gay. You know how we deal with homosexuality in India right?. Besides being a punishable offense, its not really something that happens to us, its exclusive to the west and if it does happen, then its definitely curable. The cure? Marriage of course, after a while they will outgrow their ‘weirdness’. Hang on, this is not me talking, I’m merely echoing the mentality of the average Indian parents. So ya, in a love marriage, atleast you are sure he is straight.

4) You will forever be the symbol of romance to the breed of 12-14 olds in the family. This might just be exclusive to India. You will be the embodiment of romance to them. I stll remember how when one of my friend’s sister had a love marriage, all of us were secretly thrilled. We were all fresh from watching Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge and her insistence to get married to her lover was complete WOW material for us. We’ve spent many evenings thinking if we will ever find our man and when we do, if we will ever dare disobey our parents and walk out with him. Though, my secret desire always always has been the climax of DDLJ. Aah!! Ive replayed that more than a million times in my lil head.

Oh well, thats how far I got with my list. Not that I couldn’t think of more, but all of them seemed extremely exclusive to India and I dint see the point in giving those reason to my AF ( American friend). Well anyways, she liked both the lists, though it did nothing to clear her confusion. She is as muddled as ever and has almost given up hope of ever being married. Last heard, she was looking for a tall, educated, well earning Italian to take sperm samples from. 😐

PS: Hey there, tall, educated, well earning Italian..Are you listening?

PPS: Is it just me, or does the new series of Airtel ads featuring Vidya Balan and Madhavan give you a warm fuzzy feeling in the tummy?

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Published in: on June 29, 2008 at 6:33 am  Comments (22)  
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Game time!!!

Ok..So for once I have no clue what to write. My life has become rather uneventful of late. I like my life, sunny side up. I like a fair bit of melodrama in it, but I’m convincing myself that its the lull before the storm. Not in a negative way but in a happy positive way. Oh well, I hope it is, cause quite frankly, Ive been bored to tears of late, literally.

So, this is gonna be one of those train of thoughts type posts. You can quit reading now, if you want. I promise you, its not gonna get better.

Hmmmm..So..Lets play a game called, “What does this remind you off?” Tada!!! I’m gonna pick random items from my room and then you gotta tell me what that reminds you off. Simple enough? Except I’m home alone today, so I am gonna be playing this by myself. Yes, yes, I know..How entertaining,right? Anyways, lets not waste anymore time and jump right in to the game. (On second thoughts, considering how bored and jobless I am, I should be aiming at wasting as much as time as possible..aah…nevermind)

Telephone – Yellow. The colour, not the song. I dint really have to explain that now, did I?

Sleeplessness.

Loooooooooooooong conversations about nothing.

Abhishek Bachchan’s Motorola ad. Chipped nails, cause in my Gma’s place we have these ancient telephones and dialing a number is guaranteed to chip your perfectly manicured nails. Ugh!!

Headphones – Call centers.

The weird, 2 gold chain wearing uncle who goes jogging past my house at 11:30 am everymorning. Yes, yes, he listens to music on a headphone with a mic. wtf. And I’m pretty darn sure he is listening to Boyzone or BSB or some band like that. (Psst: Remember the time when we could feel the pain in their songs? 🙂 )

Fan – Balloons.That stems from my family’s intense liking for sticking a bunch of balloons on the fan for any and every birthdays we host. Its cute how happy they become just looking at the balloons go round and round. Simple pleasures!

Hmmm..and ya, those hot clammy days in Coimbatore. The fan in my hostel room had a mind of its own. Really. It dint listen to the switch not did it listen to the regulator. It was its own master, which meant that during those cold nights if would suddenly go full speed and freeze us to death and during those hot clammy days, it would refuse to budge. Mean bastard!!!

Curtains – Bright orange. Bright Green. All bright colours, thanks to those ready made curtains that are available everywhere.

Sound of Music. Aah!! Those drapes looked so cute on the kids.

Celine Dion and the song, ” Its all coming back to me now”. I am as stumped as you are.

Stairs – Shopping Malls. Escalators. Running up an escalator that is going down. We actually got cheered by a bunch of people for trying it out once in Garuda Mall, Bangalore.

Stair masters. Ugh!! Exercise. Blah!!

Old movies. There always always had to have a scene where the villain is shown coming down an elaborate staircase with a wooden handrail and ya, the stairs have to have a red carpet on it.

Calenders – Holidays!!

Well..ya..just holidays!!

Pillows – Hugs. Loads of hugs.

Fights. Ive always wanted to get into a pillow fight where I actually accidentally end up tearing my pillow. Not just that, then these pretty white feathers have to float around the room. All in a pretty, cute, good way. Not in the mental patient losing control type of way. No. No, that would be all wrong.

Tears.

And the song, ‘Hopelessly devoted to you’ from Grease.

Television – Those TV rooms in the hostel. Those cricket matches. The movies. Everything on TV was celebrated. I guess it happens when about a 100 girls cram into one room to watch the TV. Aaah!!! Those were testing times but good times..

Close up Antakshari. I don’t know. I just remembered that.

My paranoia about accidentally hitting Auto Tune at the end of 2 hours of grueling Manual tuning and sorting of all the channels. This used to happen a lot earlier and hence the paranoia.

Hip Hip Hurray. I think thats the first serial I watched on television. Don’t know how many of you remember that. It used to come on Zee TV on Wednesdays, like about 10 years ago.

Door – The silly knock knock jokes.

Losing the key to my room and having to wait outside the door for like 4-5 hours before my roommates returned from a movie. This was a regular affair in college.

Painful memories of having lost a finger nail it.

3 Doors Down.

Ha!! Not bad. That game kinda kept me occupied for a while. Besides, it kinda reminded me of a lot of other things and ya, it did make time fly. Funny na, how small things around the house can remind you so many other things. And what do you know, we also have a post. Lalalalalalalalalalalaaa…. 🙂

Published in: on June 23, 2008 at 8:26 am  Comments (15)  
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Just some random stuff

Dear Diary,

Life is really unfair. Its biased and totally partial to its favourites. How else do you explain this “player’ who has slept with every thing remotely resembling a woman, and then insisting that he “deserves” a virgin for a wife and then **gasp** getting one. I don’t get it. Oh well, we wouldnt really know if she is a virgin now, would we? Oh please God..just this once, I’ll never pray for another non virgin in my life again..please please please..let her not be a virgin..in fact..go ahead God, break a leg, make her a slut. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase!! That would be just so perfect. See, the question is not about virginity here..its about hypocrisy. I mean, you cry yourself hoarse about how overrated virginity is and is the pioneer for premarital sex and all that and when finally your turn comes to get “settled”, you decide to push all your so far staunch beliefs to the deepest darkest corner of your cupboard and formulate a new set of beliefs to swear by. Now if this aint hypocrisy then I don’t know what is and whats worse diarykins, is that when you ask him about the double standards, he brushes the question aside by saying, “Its a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand.” What the fuck? Take a second and explain this to me, so what is it about a man that I don’t understand here? what is this “guy thing”?? Is it the Tom Cruise philosophy,Respect the cock, tame the cunt? Seriously, do you even for a second think we don’t get that? do you think we don’t understand your alternate heart down there? You think we don’t get it when you insist that you think with your heart? And I hate the double standards, you want an adventurous girlfriend who’s game for most things but when it comes to a wife, you want a nice innocent homely type. Well, get over it. We can play the ‘nice innocent homely type’ very convincingly, you see.  Well, I dont mean to be disrespectful to all the men and I know that I’m making sweeping generalisations here, but wth diarykins, I feel vindictive today! Grrrrrr..

Oh and Ive realised that pain makes me think about the weirdest things. That, and that my threshold for pain is abysmally low. If I dint know better, I would have thought that my tolerance for pain is receding every month. Not far is the day when I am gonna pass out from pain from an ant bite. I wish I was a lil more like S who says she enjoys pain. Oh yes, she like piercings and tattoos more for the pain that goes with it than anything else. I dont wanna be like her, I dont wanna ever enjoy pain, but I cant help wishing I was more like her in terms of the tolerance for pain. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghh!! Child birth!!! I think I’m gonna just pass out from the prospect of so much pain. 😐 😐

And bout those weird thoughts, yesterday I was in pain (Long story..I almost died..more on that later) and in between the whole painful experience, I couldn’t help thinking, how If I walked on my hands, my pee could actually flow inside and how my bladder could literally blast from being too full and how then my blood would get mixed with my pee and I would have stinky blood and how my blood wouldn’t be the nice shade of red it is now. I also remember reminding myself to check out the shade that comes when you mix, light yellow with red. And then I became paranoid, cause for more than a couple of years, I have become obsessed with having colourless pee and I keep drinking truckloads of water to ensure that and now with the whole pee in blood scenario, my obsession has become a necessity, that is, if I don’t want my blood to loose its lovely hue. So ya, like I was saying, I get the weirdest thoughts when I am in pain.

In other news, my friend A got married. Honestly, I never thought she would get married. Why? Cause I never thought anybody could stand her. Well, she ain’t that bad and she’s mildly pleasing in short bursts but for life is a lil too much. I know, I know I sound bitchy, but this feels nice. Really! Anyways, I guess nobody is unbearable. There is somebody to bear everybody. That’s comforting, don’t you think dairykins? I think I prefer people bear hugging me, to just bearing me. Oh and A, I know you are gonna read this. Well, you always knew this is the way I felt about you na? So chill and have an exciting honeymoon. Rock on \m/

Thats about it all. I love you diarykins and I love you more for patiently listening to me rant. You rock chicki!!! Muah!

Published in: on June 16, 2008 at 6:54 am  Comments (9)  
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