Just some random stuff

Dear Diary,

Life is really unfair. Its biased and totally partial to its favourites. How else do you explain this “player’ who has slept with every thing remotely resembling a woman, and then insisting that he “deserves” a virgin for a wife and then **gasp** getting one. I don’t get it. Oh well, we wouldnt really know if she is a virgin now, would we? Oh please God..just this once, I’ll never pray for another non virgin in my life again..please please please..let her not be a virgin..in fact..go ahead God, break a leg, make her a slut. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase!! That would be just so perfect. See, the question is not about virginity here..its about hypocrisy. I mean, you cry yourself hoarse about how overrated virginity is and is the pioneer for premarital sex and all that and when finally your turn comes to get “settled”, you decide to push all your so far staunch beliefs to the deepest darkest corner of your cupboard and formulate a new set of beliefs to swear by. Now if this aint hypocrisy then I don’t know what is and whats worse diarykins, is that when you ask him about the double standards, he brushes the question aside by saying, “Its a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand.” What the fuck? Take a second and explain this to me, so what is it about a man that I don’t understand here? what is this “guy thing”?? Is it the Tom Cruise philosophy,Respect the cock, tame the cunt? Seriously, do you even for a second think we don’t get that? do you think we don’t understand your alternate heart down there? You think we don’t get it when you insist that you think with your heart? And I hate the double standards, you want an adventurous girlfriend who’s game for most things but when it comes to a wife, you want a nice innocent homely type. Well, get over it. We can play the ‘nice innocent homely type’ very convincingly, you see.  Well, I dont mean to be disrespectful to all the men and I know that I’m making sweeping generalisations here, but wth diarykins, I feel vindictive today! Grrrrrr..

Oh and Ive realised that pain makes me think about the weirdest things. That, and that my threshold for pain is abysmally low. If I dint know better, I would have thought that my tolerance for pain is receding every month. Not far is the day when I am gonna pass out from pain from an ant bite. I wish I was a lil more like S who says she enjoys pain. Oh yes, she like piercings and tattoos more for the pain that goes with it than anything else. I dont wanna be like her, I dont wanna ever enjoy pain, but I cant help wishing I was more like her in terms of the tolerance for pain. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghh!! Child birth!!! I think I’m gonna just pass out from the prospect of so much pain. 😐 😐

And bout those weird thoughts, yesterday I was in pain (Long story..I almost died..more on that later) and in between the whole painful experience, I couldn’t help thinking, how If I walked on my hands, my pee could actually flow inside and how my bladder could literally blast from being too full and how then my blood would get mixed with my pee and I would have stinky blood and how my blood wouldn’t be the nice shade of red it is now. I also remember reminding myself to check out the shade that comes when you mix, light yellow with red. And then I became paranoid, cause for more than a couple of years, I have become obsessed with having colourless pee and I keep drinking truckloads of water to ensure that and now with the whole pee in blood scenario, my obsession has become a necessity, that is, if I don’t want my blood to loose its lovely hue. So ya, like I was saying, I get the weirdest thoughts when I am in pain.

In other news, my friend A got married. Honestly, I never thought she would get married. Why? Cause I never thought anybody could stand her. Well, she ain’t that bad and she’s mildly pleasing in short bursts but for life is a lil too much. I know, I know I sound bitchy, but this feels nice. Really! Anyways, I guess nobody is unbearable. There is somebody to bear everybody. That’s comforting, don’t you think dairykins? I think I prefer people bear hugging me, to just bearing me. Oh and A, I know you are gonna read this. Well, you always knew this is the way I felt about you na? So chill and have an exciting honeymoon. Rock on \m/

Thats about it all. I love you diarykins and I love you more for patiently listening to me rant. You rock chicki!!! Muah!

Published in: on June 16, 2008 at 6:54 am  Comments (9)  
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Bucket List

Ok. Here is another post about a movie.

Well, not exactly about the movie but more or less inspired by the movie. I hope you guys by now have seen the ‘Bucket List‘. Now whats fascinating for me about this movie is the reviews that it has been drawing. There is one half of my friends who will swear by the movie and another half who will not touch it with a barge pole. Now, the half that doesnt like the movie claims its disappointing cause there is no anticipation. The movie’s plot is pretty much evident from the title and it sticks to it without any twists or turns or even a surprise ending. The half that loved it, loved it cause it lived up to its name. So you see, there isn’t much to choose. You gotta see it and decide which category you wanna fall in to. Oh, I fell into the ‘Loved the movie’ category. Actually, I don’t hate many movies. I always try to see something good in it so that I can justify the 2 odd hours I spent watching it. I’m very terminally optimistic that way. Just wish I could look at people the way I looked at movies.

Hmmmm, coming back to the ‘Bucket List’. Well, I loved the characters and I loved the plot and what I loved more was the choice of actors. They couldn’t have chosen better. Jack Nicholson is at his weird, rude eccentric best and Morgan Freeman is at the heights of restrained acting. Oh, and is it just me or do all of you think that he has got the ‘perfectest’ voice ever? I mean if God had a voice, dont you think it would be Morgan Freeman’s voice. So calm and soothing yet so powerful. I wonder how he is in bed. Do you think his woman gets multiple orgasms just by listening to his sweet talk? (Eeeew..no, lets not go down that lane, old men in bed is not something I like to dwell upon). Speaking of Gods, isnt it funny how we never pictured God as a black man until ‘Bruce Almighty’ came along? And that got me thinking. I mean, we all think of God or the picture that we have of God in our minds is of a man (yes, I’ve said it before and I say it again, I can’t think of God as woman. Sorry, but I can’t. My God is a man.) with very familiar features. I mean, my God has Indian features cause being an Indian I’m automatically tuned to think like that (This has more so to do with Muslims cause there are no pictures of our God,so its all in the mind). So, I was wondering whether a Chinese pictures God with chinky eyes or if a Spaniard pictures God with thick eyebrows and an olive skin. Just a thought!

Anyways, fresh from the movie and highly inspired by it, I decided to make my own bucket list. Things I would like to do before I, well, kick the bucket. So here goes:

  • Travel to Italy – Ive always wanted to since I was a kid. Though I have to admit that earlier my desire to visit Italy was largely because of my cravings for authentic pizzas and pastas. Yes, I do realise that it would be much cheaper to go to the Italian restaurant next door but as a kid you mind doesn’t think like that. You want good pizza you go to Italy. But now, yes, pastas and pizzas still figure in the equation, but the reason I wanna go there is because of this picture of romance associated with the place (or in other words, Yummy Italian men 😛 ) and also because I think these Italians are master marketers. Only they can take an old badly built tower and turn into this wonder. Really, I have tons of buildings in the nieghbourhood which have a bigger degree of tilt than the Tower of Pisa, but do you see anyone visiting it? See, I told you, these Italians are the master marketers of the world.
  • Meet Johnny Depp/John Travolta – I am not being too ambitious. I will settle for either. Travolta my first crush, the man who made me feel weak in the knee for the first time. The man who made me realise that perhaps boys ain’t so bad after all. I was 12 when I saw ‘Grease’ for the first time and life has never been the same since. You have a special place in my heart. Johnny Depp, for making me fall in love with a freak, ‘Edward Scissorhands’. I am not gonna say any further.
  • Turn into a fitness freak – and inturn achieve the perfect hourglass figure. I don’t like the new flat look, hourglass, thats what we should strive for.
  • Read as many holy books as possible – With so much hue and cry over religion, I’d really like to know where we all differ so much that we humans have ceased being humans and have become mere representatives of religions. I’d like to read as many religious scriptures as possible. Really!
  • Sex on the beach – Not the drink silly. I wanna make out on the beach. I haven’t yet decided if I want a private beach somewhere or if wanna do it on a regular beach. I cant seem to decide but the bigger problem here is how to lure my man into being a part of my list. Oh, and while we are beaches, I wanna reaffirm our vows, on a beach, for our 50th wedding anniversary. But I want the sex much before that.
  • Attend my kids’ wedding – Well, I don’t have any kids yet and I don’t think I will be having any for a while but eventually when I have them, I wanna be with them all the way. I don’t wanna die and leave in between. I wanna stay for their weddings.
  • Become a Cowgirl – Oh yes, I intend to buy a ranch in Texas some day. (Psst: becoming an old cow and becoming a cowgirl are two different things, in case you were wondering)

PS: This is not the end of my list. But I just noticed that this post is becoming way too long. So, I’m gonna stop my rant now, temporarily. I shall resume. Stay tunes for Bucket list 2, coming soon to the WordPress near you. 😉