So,which marriage will you be having? – Part 2

Ahem..So, remember the Part 1? Well, this is Part 2, which I’m sure you have figured out by now.

Ok, quick recap for the uninitiated. My friend from America is tired of searching for her Mr. Right and wants to settle for an arranged marriage, which according to her is so hassle free. Well, more blah blah blah..blah blah blah later, somehow I was entrusted with the all important task of giving her 10 reasons as to why she should go for an arranged marriage and 10 reasons why it should be a love marriage. The arranged marriage bit has already been done with, which thanks to your generous contribution of ideas, just did not go beyond 6 reasons. Grrrr… Somehow, I still havn’t come to terms with the fact that I, who belong to a country where arranged marriage is a way of life, couldnt even come up with 10 reasons supporting it. 😦

Anyways, now presenting **Drumroll** 10 reasons as to why, a love marriage is the way to go.

1) Well, the most simplest reason will have to be that, you know who you are getting married to..and better still you are actually in love with him. You are attracted to him and you don’t have to spend nights praying to God that you hope you are attracted to him. Don’t raise your eyebrows, I know of people, ok relatives, who have gotten married without having even spoken to their partner even once. Yup, one look at the photograph somehow sufficed. So ya, in a love marriage, you know the guy and what greater joy than getting married to the man you love.

2) Physical compatibility. Oh yes, no unwanted surprises on the first night. You know he/she will turn you on. Imagine, getting married and realising that he does nothing to stir you. Forget the fire in your loins. There is not even a spark there..**Shudder**

3) You know for a fact that he/she is straight. Dont, gimme that look. You think I’m exaggerating? Really people, this finding out that the only thing straight about your partner is his hair, is becoming more common everyday. I personally know somebody who strongly suspects that her partner is gay. You know how we deal with homosexuality in India right?. Besides being a punishable offense, its not really something that happens to us, its exclusive to the west and if it does happen, then its definitely curable. The cure? Marriage of course, after a while they will outgrow their ‘weirdness’. Hang on, this is not me talking, I’m merely echoing the mentality of the average Indian parents. So ya, in a love marriage, atleast you are sure he is straight.

4) You will forever be the symbol of romance to the breed of 12-14 olds in the family. This might just be exclusive to India. You will be the embodiment of romance to them. I stll remember how when one of my friend’s sister had a love marriage, all of us were secretly thrilled. We were all fresh from watching Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge and her insistence to get married to her lover was complete WOW material for us. We’ve spent many evenings thinking if we will ever find our man and when we do, if we will ever dare disobey our parents and walk out with him. Though, my secret desire always always has been the climax of DDLJ. Aah!! Ive replayed that more than a million times in my lil head.

Oh well, thats how far I got with my list. Not that I couldn’t think of more, but all of them seemed extremely exclusive to India and I dint see the point in giving those reason to my AF ( American friend). Well anyways, she liked both the lists, though it did nothing to clear her confusion. She is as muddled as ever and has almost given up hope of ever being married. Last heard, she was looking for a tall, educated, well earning Italian to take sperm samples from. 😐

PS: Hey there, tall, educated, well earning Italian..Are you listening?

PPS: Is it just me, or does the new series of Airtel ads featuring Vidya Balan and Madhavan give you a warm fuzzy feeling in the tummy?

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Published in: on June 29, 2008 at 6:33 am  Comments (22)  
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On the big screen..

How many times have we watched a movie and wished it happened to us in real time? How many times have we come home from the movies and imitated the hero/heroine or whatever it is that has caught our fancy? How many times have we desperately yet silently prayed to God to make our lives half as interesting as the last movie we saw? Well, I for one have and a million times atleast. Infact, we all have at some point or the other wished our life were the movies, wished we had a picture perfect ending and that everyone lived happily ever after.

So, keeping in mind this undying and not so subconscious desire to be a part of the film world, I humbly present before you..**Extended Drumroll** (Notice how every major announcement sounds so much more cooler when preceded by a drumroll? Whoever thought of using the drumroll to built anxiety was a genious)

TERMINAL RANT’s LIST OF MOVIE SCENES SHE WISH SHE WERE A PART OF!! (Ta da!!!!)

  • The climax of Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. The slow moving train, a bloody yet somehow cute looking Shahruk Khan with an outstretched arm and the embodiment of the strict and stern fathers the world over, Amrish Puri mouthing what has by now become almost legendary, “Jaa Beti, Jee le apni Zindagi (for the benefit of my non Hindi speaking friends, the line translates to, ‘Go my girl, live your life’, though it somehow sounds way much cooler in Hindi) and finally me..Flashing a grateful smile at my father and running along the still slow moving train ( no wonder our trains are always late) and into the arms of my love. Hmmmmmmmmmm!!! I’ve played this scene a million times in my head and it just keeps getting better everytime. Though I’m positive that in realtime, I would a tripped a million times before finally getting into the train.
  • The black n white car scene in Kill Bill. Reasons are simple enough, I like to kick butts and inspite of all the gore, I still like the idea of a girl out to get revenge. I love the yellow tracksuit, I love the action and most of all, I like the way she says ” And when I get there, I’m gonna Kill Bill”, complete with wind in her hair and the continuous oscillation of her head and that uber sexy back ground score. Aah! The ultimate power trip!
  • Any fight sequence from the Tomb Raider series. The pout-y action figure not just gets the guys drooling their life out but also manages to excite more than a few women. I mean, really, long jet black hair, a perfectly filled figure and the handling of mean machines with aplomb. I like the idea of looking feminine and then kicking more than my share of ‘villainous’ butts. How thoroughly dreamlike and enjoyable. Oh yes, I played this sequence in my head, a lot.
  • Sharon Stone’s leg-crossing interrogation scene in the Basic Instinct. Why? Go figure!
  • The last scene from the Titanic. Well, technically not the last scene but the scene where Jack dies. **Sniff**. How tragic! I could just picture myself there, a pretty picture of both grief and determination at the same time. It does feel a tad silly now, but when the movie released, I spend good many nights crying myself to sleep cause I was Rose and I had just lost my Jack.
  • The pot making scene from Ghost. What? Its a good make out scene. Very sensuous. A Woman has her needs, you see.
  • The scene where Maria falls in love with the Captain in The Sound of Music. Well, technically its falling in love with your boss but something about the way it was handled doesn’t make it look tacky at all. ” So somewhere in my youth or childhood,I must have done something good”, and that song is another reason along with the extremely yummy captain. Well, actually the entire movie is worth replaying in my head but something about this scene means more.
  • Jodie Foster’s introduction scene in The Silence of the Lambs – Wow, the slow long tense walk to Hannibal Lecter’s cell. I think I could have added a tad more dignity to it. Like I said, I think. There is something about that scene and something so chilling about the way, Mr. Lecter urges Foster closer to his cell, “Closer, please. Clo-ser”. Positively creepy yet highly replayable in my head.
  • A Sooraj Bharjatiya heroine. I know this is not a scene but Ive imagined me being the ultimate SB heroine all my life. She, a Sooraj Bharjatiya heroine is everything I’m not, she is shy, she is silent, she is demure, she is the embodiment of the Bharatiya Nari, she is so innocent and so nice and everybody loves her and oh ya, she is incapable of hurting anyone, even if she wanted to. So you see, I couldn’t bear to be like that for life, but I sure dont mind being that in intervals, which is most often right after I watch one of his flicks.

Well, this is just a few from the top of my head. Think a lil deeper and Im sure there are tons more. But like I always say, lets keep it for another day shall we? and ya, if there are any scenes you think is worth replaying in my head, drop me line, wont you? There is always room for more melodrama. 😀

PS: What is with me and this compulsive need to make lists of late? First it was the bucket list, then a list of the things from the past that we love, then came the list to identifying me and now this! Do all women..wait..this might not be exclusive to women, so lemme rephrase, so do all of mankind go through this list making spree at some point or the other? or am I the latest victim of OCLMD (Obsessive Compulsive List Making DIsorder)? But what the heck as long as its an important life changing list (which all my lists are) then I don’t think I should be complaining 😀

Good old days

Yesterday was not one of my better days. I didn’t feel too good, I felt alone and I was most dreadfully bored. So, as a part of my ‘Mission Perk Myself Up’, I took a long hot bath, slipped into bed and watched ‘The Sound of Music’ for the 20 millionth time and what do you know? I dint feel so bad anymore.

And that got me thinking..

Why is it that when we wanna feel warm and comforted, we automatically reach for an Enid Blyton?

Why is it that “A Christmas Story’ or ‘The Sound of Music’ is still the chosen movie to huddle under a blanket and watch?

Why is it that an old sweater is the one we slip into when we miss our home?

Why is Sophia Loren still the ultimate sex symbol?

Why do bright sunny days remind us of Harry Belafonte?

Why do the hairstyles of the yesteryears make us feel classy?

Why do we like B/W so much?

Why do our picture of a perfect family still have cottage in outskirts and farmyard in it?

Why is Yul Brynner still getting our hearts thumping?

Why is childhood so precious? So much so that even if he hardly remember it, we still like to think of it fondly.

Why are our first friends always almost our best friends?

Do do we always imagine getting married in an beautiful old church?

Why do old couple in love bring tears to our eyes?

Why do we always turn to Presley when we desperately need a song for the moment?

Why do Beetles still make us smile?

Why is yesterday always preferred to today?

Why is it always the good old days?

What is with us and our strange affinity for the past, for the old? What is it about them that makes us feel special, so reassured? What is it about the ‘old’ that takes the shine off the advanced and improved ‘new’.

I’ve always thought about it and never got an answer. Earlier I thought I was the only one with this affinity but I couldn’t have been more wrong. At first I thought it was cause they reminded us of happier days. But then, I can list a ton of those recent moments in my life too that makes me immensely happy. Hell, I wasn’t even born when half of these things happened and they are in no way related to my childhood, yet they bring a blanket of warmth with them. Why?

I dont know, Ive given up on this search. They make me feel good and I guess thats what counts. But if you guys do know the reason behind it, please feel free to drop a line.

PS: On a totally unrelated note, Don’t you just hate it when you are desperately trying to complete your post and the people around just cant stop talking to you? Aaaarh!! I hate it, hate it, hate it!! **Sigh**

Published in: on June 6, 2008 at 5:49 am  Comments (5)  
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Bucket List

Ok. Here is another post about a movie.

Well, not exactly about the movie but more or less inspired by the movie. I hope you guys by now have seen the ‘Bucket List‘. Now whats fascinating for me about this movie is the reviews that it has been drawing. There is one half of my friends who will swear by the movie and another half who will not touch it with a barge pole. Now, the half that doesnt like the movie claims its disappointing cause there is no anticipation. The movie’s plot is pretty much evident from the title and it sticks to it without any twists or turns or even a surprise ending. The half that loved it, loved it cause it lived up to its name. So you see, there isn’t much to choose. You gotta see it and decide which category you wanna fall in to. Oh, I fell into the ‘Loved the movie’ category. Actually, I don’t hate many movies. I always try to see something good in it so that I can justify the 2 odd hours I spent watching it. I’m very terminally optimistic that way. Just wish I could look at people the way I looked at movies.

Hmmmm, coming back to the ‘Bucket List’. Well, I loved the characters and I loved the plot and what I loved more was the choice of actors. They couldn’t have chosen better. Jack Nicholson is at his weird, rude eccentric best and Morgan Freeman is at the heights of restrained acting. Oh, and is it just me or do all of you think that he has got the ‘perfectest’ voice ever? I mean if God had a voice, dont you think it would be Morgan Freeman’s voice. So calm and soothing yet so powerful. I wonder how he is in bed. Do you think his woman gets multiple orgasms just by listening to his sweet talk? (Eeeew..no, lets not go down that lane, old men in bed is not something I like to dwell upon). Speaking of Gods, isnt it funny how we never pictured God as a black man until ‘Bruce Almighty’ came along? And that got me thinking. I mean, we all think of God or the picture that we have of God in our minds is of a man (yes, I’ve said it before and I say it again, I can’t think of God as woman. Sorry, but I can’t. My God is a man.) with very familiar features. I mean, my God has Indian features cause being an Indian I’m automatically tuned to think like that (This has more so to do with Muslims cause there are no pictures of our God,so its all in the mind). So, I was wondering whether a Chinese pictures God with chinky eyes or if a Spaniard pictures God with thick eyebrows and an olive skin. Just a thought!

Anyways, fresh from the movie and highly inspired by it, I decided to make my own bucket list. Things I would like to do before I, well, kick the bucket. So here goes:

  • Travel to Italy – Ive always wanted to since I was a kid. Though I have to admit that earlier my desire to visit Italy was largely because of my cravings for authentic pizzas and pastas. Yes, I do realise that it would be much cheaper to go to the Italian restaurant next door but as a kid you mind doesn’t think like that. You want good pizza you go to Italy. But now, yes, pastas and pizzas still figure in the equation, but the reason I wanna go there is because of this picture of romance associated with the place (or in other words, Yummy Italian men 😛 ) and also because I think these Italians are master marketers. Only they can take an old badly built tower and turn into this wonder. Really, I have tons of buildings in the nieghbourhood which have a bigger degree of tilt than the Tower of Pisa, but do you see anyone visiting it? See, I told you, these Italians are the master marketers of the world.
  • Meet Johnny Depp/John Travolta – I am not being too ambitious. I will settle for either. Travolta my first crush, the man who made me feel weak in the knee for the first time. The man who made me realise that perhaps boys ain’t so bad after all. I was 12 when I saw ‘Grease’ for the first time and life has never been the same since. You have a special place in my heart. Johnny Depp, for making me fall in love with a freak, ‘Edward Scissorhands’. I am not gonna say any further.
  • Turn into a fitness freak – and inturn achieve the perfect hourglass figure. I don’t like the new flat look, hourglass, thats what we should strive for.
  • Read as many holy books as possible – With so much hue and cry over religion, I’d really like to know where we all differ so much that we humans have ceased being humans and have become mere representatives of religions. I’d like to read as many religious scriptures as possible. Really!
  • Sex on the beach – Not the drink silly. I wanna make out on the beach. I haven’t yet decided if I want a private beach somewhere or if wanna do it on a regular beach. I cant seem to decide but the bigger problem here is how to lure my man into being a part of my list. Oh, and while we are beaches, I wanna reaffirm our vows, on a beach, for our 50th wedding anniversary. But I want the sex much before that.
  • Attend my kids’ wedding – Well, I don’t have any kids yet and I don’t think I will be having any for a while but eventually when I have them, I wanna be with them all the way. I don’t wanna die and leave in between. I wanna stay for their weddings.
  • Become a Cowgirl – Oh yes, I intend to buy a ranch in Texas some day. (Psst: becoming an old cow and becoming a cowgirl are two different things, in case you were wondering)

PS: This is not the end of my list. But I just noticed that this post is becoming way too long. So, I’m gonna stop my rant now, temporarily. I shall resume. Stay tunes for Bucket list 2, coming soon to the WordPress near you. 😉