Game time!!!

Ok..So for once I have no clue what to write. My life has become rather uneventful of late. I like my life, sunny side up. I like a fair bit of melodrama in it, but I’m convincing myself that its the lull before the storm. Not in a negative way but in a happy positive way. Oh well, I hope it is, cause quite frankly, Ive been bored to tears of late, literally.

So, this is gonna be one of those train of thoughts type posts. You can quit reading now, if you want. I promise you, its not gonna get better.

Hmmmm..So..Lets play a game called, “What does this remind you off?” Tada!!! I’m gonna pick random items from my room and then you gotta tell me what that reminds you off. Simple enough? Except I’m home alone today, so I am gonna be playing this by myself. Yes, yes, I know..How entertaining,right? Anyways, lets not waste anymore time and jump right in to the game. (On second thoughts, considering how bored and jobless I am, I should be aiming at wasting as much as time as possible..aah…nevermind)

Telephone – Yellow. The colour, not the song. I dint really have to explain that now, did I?

Sleeplessness.

Loooooooooooooong conversations about nothing.

Abhishek Bachchan’s Motorola ad. Chipped nails, cause in my Gma’s place we have these ancient telephones and dialing a number is guaranteed to chip your perfectly manicured nails. Ugh!!

Headphones – Call centers.

The weird, 2 gold chain wearing uncle who goes jogging past my house at 11:30 am everymorning. Yes, yes, he listens to music on a headphone with a mic. wtf. And I’m pretty darn sure he is listening to Boyzone or BSB or some band like that. (Psst: Remember the time when we could feel the pain in their songs? πŸ™‚ )

Fan – Balloons.That stems from my family’s intense liking for sticking a bunch of balloons on the fan for any and every birthdays we host. Its cute how happy they become just looking at the balloons go round and round. Simple pleasures!

Hmmm..and ya, those hot clammy days in Coimbatore. The fan in my hostel room had a mind of its own. Really. It dint listen to the switch not did it listen to the regulator. It was its own master, which meant that during those cold nights if would suddenly go full speed and freeze us to death and during those hot clammy days, it would refuse to budge. Mean bastard!!!

Curtains – Bright orange. Bright Green. All bright colours, thanks to those ready made curtains that are available everywhere.

Sound of Music. Aah!! Those drapes looked so cute on the kids.

Celine Dion and the song, ” Its all coming back to me now”. I am as stumped as you are.

Stairs – Shopping Malls. Escalators. Running up an escalator that is going down. We actually got cheered by a bunch of people for trying it out once in Garuda Mall, Bangalore.

Stair masters. Ugh!! Exercise. Blah!!

Old movies. There always always had to have a scene where the villain is shown coming down an elaborate staircase with a wooden handrail and ya, the stairs have to have a red carpet on it.

Calenders – Holidays!!

Well..ya..just holidays!!

Pillows – Hugs. Loads of hugs.

Fights. Ive always wanted to get into a pillow fight where I actually accidentally end up tearing my pillow. Not just that, then these pretty white feathers have to float around the room. All in a pretty, cute, good way. Not in the mental patient losing control type of way. No. No, that would be all wrong.

Tears.

And the song, ‘Hopelessly devoted to you’ from Grease.

Television – Those TV rooms in the hostel. Those cricket matches. The movies. Everything on TV was celebrated. I guess it happens when about a 100 girls cram into one room to watch the TV. Aaah!!! Those were testing times but good times..

Close up Antakshari. I don’t know. I just remembered that.

My paranoia about accidentally hitting Auto Tune at the end of 2 hours of grueling Manual tuning and sorting of all the channels. This used to happen a lot earlier and hence the paranoia.

Hip Hip Hurray. I think thats the first serial I watched on television. Don’t know how many of you remember that. It used to come on Zee TV on Wednesdays, like about 10 years ago.

Door – The silly knock knock jokes.

Losing the key to my room and having to wait outside the door for like 4-5 hours before my roommates returned from a movie. This was a regular affair in college.

Painful memories of having lost a finger nail it.

3 Doors Down.

Ha!! Not bad. That game kinda kept me occupied for a while. Besides, it kinda reminded me of a lot of other things and ya, it did make time fly. Funny na, how small things around the house can remind you so many other things. And what do you know, we also have a post. Lalalalalalalalalalalaaa…. πŸ™‚

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Published in: on June 23, 2008 at 8:26 am  Comments (15)  
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So,which marriage will you be having? – Part 1

The grass is always greener on the other side. Really! My American friend is completely in love with the concept of an arranged marriage and is hoping against hope that her parents will find a list of prospective grooms for her from whom she can have her pick. She finds the whole concept very comforting and practically risk free. This after a string of rather wrong boyfriends with whom she has wasted a considerable chunk of her life and for whom she has earned the black sheep tag from her family. I was telling her how it worked in India, in most of the cases and the enthusiasm in her voice was unmistakable. She was pumped and I could hear that she was seriously considering talking to her folks about an arranged marriage. What was surprising was how she later told me that she ain’t the only one thinking of going the arranged marriage way.

This is one side of the coin. On the other we have us, the typical Indian folks who dream and hope for parents who will let us chose our partners and be ok with it. No emotional blackmail. No tears. No fuss. No guilt trips and certainly no ‘Is this how I brought you up?’ type melodramatic lines. And we most certainly dont want ‘ We shall give our blessings albeit grudgingly, we shall attend the wedding though unhappy and we shall put on a happy face, though we cry inside. No sir, we don’t want any of the above. We seek acceptance and understanding and a plain yes or no. Not that its gonna affect our decision, but we would just like to know how you feel, cause you are our parents. Now, this is the new Indian dream.

See, dint I tell you the grass is greener on the other side? So, I was telling her about the new Indian dream and all that and since I am a part of that country where arranged marriages are a way of life and since I belong to a generation which thrives on the New Indian dream, she set me this interesting task of giving her 10 reasons as to why she should go for an arranged marriage and 10 reasons why it should be a love marriage. ( The girl cannot stop giggling every timeΒ  I say love marriage, cause she says it makes it seem like the arranged marriage is love less. True na and to think I never thought of it like that until now) So, presenting ** Drumroll** 10 reasons as to why, an arranged marriage is the way to go..

1) Well, the most basic reason has to be risk free element. Perhaps not risk free, everything has its risks but hmmm..lets say, the division of responsibility. It was a joint decision. And, God forbid, if there are hitches in your relationship, then your folks are not gonna turn around and give you the ” I told you so” look. Oh well, no matter how much we talk about the ‘Its- my-decision- and – I’ll – honour it’ or ‘Its- a-mistake-but-its-my-mistake’, the fact still remains that we need our family’s support and in an arranged marriage, you folks somehow feel they have much responsibility as you do, to make it work.

2) It saves a ton of trouble. Your folks will do all the shortlisting. All the background checks and all the digging up. They will even go so far as to get conduct certificates from his school/college. I tell you, your folks transform into world class snoops when searching for their kid’s mate. Documents containing crucial information including his first smoke, first drink and first fuck is unearthed, god knows from where. Though I think women are exempted from it. I’m pretty darn confident that the parents crowd still thinks that smoke-drink and fuck are for “those women” and not for future brides. Dont ask me to explain that, I dont belong to the parents group.

3) Don’t ask me how, but the parents group somehow land up on dudes who seem so wrong for you on the outset but then when you get to know him, seems so right. Really!! Its a part of their mystical powers. You cant question it. But have no fear, when I finally join the parents group, a few million years from now, the mystery shall be reveled. Provided, I’m still blogging!!

4) In retrospect and I emphasize it again, In retrospect, those chaperoned first introduction between the girl and the boy seems hilarious. It makes for a good holiday story, a legend that can be passed on forever. Legend goes that my sister kept pulling at her saree so much that it actually came undone right in front of her my brother in law and he keeps claiming that he would have been an idiot to let go of a girl who gave him personalised strip show during their first meeting. So you see, embarrassing first meets can later become famous stories to be passed on. I remember this one time when this prospective mother in law called me at work to fix up a meeting between her son and I and the Goddamn lady, instead of asking me for a good time to fix the meet wanted toΒ  know how much I earned. Well, it was embarrassing and I was in tears of anger and frustration post the call, but now, in retrospect, it seems hilarious.

5) Arranged marriage means that basically your family is at its happiest.( I suppose somebody once said, “Its all about loving your family πŸ˜› ) And a happy family is a generous family and a generous family is a gift giving family, which means **Drumroll** Excellent wedding gifts..Lalalalalalala..Oh yes, come on now, drop the act, we like gifts, weddings, birthdays,anniversaries, we love em all and we love the gifts too. Now a ‘we shall attend the wedding though unhappy and we shall put on a happy face, though we cry inside’ family means you get annoying crockery sets and truckloads of linen as wedding gifts..**Sigh** but a ‘we are soooo happy’Β  family means you get holidays to exotic locations as wedding gifts. See, the choice is pretty simple. Ok, so I am materialistic!! But so are you!!!

6) Most often in an arranged marriage, the whole process of falling in love, happens post the marriage. (Err..That point sounded so romantic in my head but in writing, it looks rather idiotic) Well, anyways, so since you are already married to him, its like being in an island with only one man. He is THE MAN, you like him cause he is all you have and suddenly you realise that his annoying habits don’t matter and you learn to love him. (I know..I know, the point looks very weak, but I’m trying my best here to make it look romantic. Stay with me, will you?)

Ok..Now this is where I need your help. No matter how hard I try, I cant seem to go beyond 6 reasons to support arranged marriages. Come on now, we are country that has thrived on arranged marriages ( a population of more than 1 billion , no less ) and when put to test by my American friend, I cant think..So help me out here..gimme more reasons as to why arranged marriages are the way to go.

PS: Don’t think I am advocating arranged marriages, cause thats not the intent of this blog. Hell, I have to give 10 reasons right after this in favour of Love marriages. So, my doubting friend, my aim is not to convince you to get an arranged marriage. Far from it, this is to help my friend decide. She can be an annoying list-based decision maker sometimes and this is one such instance. So help, my friend’s future depends on you!!!! **puppy eyes**

PPS: My ‘ten reasons why a love marriage is the way to go’ will soon follow and looking at the way my list is developing, I just might need you help again!!!

Published in: on June 19, 2008 at 8:13 am  Comments (13)  
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Just some random stuff

Dear Diary,

Life is really unfair. Its biased and totally partial to its favourites. How else do you explain this “player’ who has slept with every thing remotely resembling a woman, and then insisting that he “deserves” a virgin for a wife and then **gasp** getting one. I don’t get it. Oh well, we wouldnt really know if she is a virgin now, would we? Oh please God..just this once, I’ll never pray for another non virgin in my life again..please please please..let her not be a virgin..in fact..go ahead God, break a leg, make her a slut. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase!! That would be just so perfect. See, the question is not about virginity here..its about hypocrisy. I mean, you cry yourself hoarse about how overrated virginity is and is the pioneer for premarital sex and all that and when finally your turn comes to get “settled”, you decide to push all your so far staunch beliefs to the deepest darkest corner of your cupboard and formulate a new set of beliefs to swear by. Now if this aint hypocrisy then I don’t know what is and whats worse diarykins, is that when you ask him about the double standards, he brushes the question aside by saying, “Its a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand.” What the fuck? Take a second and explain this to me, so what is it about a man that I don’t understand here? what is this “guy thing”?? Is it the Tom Cruise philosophy,Respect the cock, tame the cunt? Seriously, do you even for a second think we don’t get that? do you think we don’t understand your alternate heart down there? You think we don’t get it when you insist that you think with your heart? And I hate the double standards, you want an adventurous girlfriend who’s game for most things but when it comes to a wife, you want a nice innocent homely type. Well, get over it. We can play the ‘nice innocent homely type’ very convincingly, you see.Β  Well, I dont mean to be disrespectful to all the men and I know that I’m making sweeping generalisations here, but wth diarykins, I feel vindictive today! Grrrrrr..

Oh and Ive realised that pain makes me think about the weirdest things. That, and that my threshold for pain is abysmally low. If I dint know better, I would have thought that my tolerance for pain is receding every month. Not far is the day when I am gonna pass out from pain from an ant bite. I wish I was a lil more like S who says she enjoys pain. Oh yes, she like piercings and tattoos more for the pain that goes with it than anything else. I dont wanna be like her, I dont wanna ever enjoy pain, but I cant help wishing I was more like her in terms of the tolerance for pain. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghh!! Child birth!!! I think I’m gonna just pass out from the prospect of so much pain. 😐 😐

And bout those weird thoughts, yesterday I was in pain (Long story..I almost died..more on that later) and in between the whole painful experience, I couldn’t help thinking, how If I walked on my hands, my pee could actually flow inside and how my bladder could literally blast from being too full and how then my blood would get mixed with my pee and I would have stinky blood and how my blood wouldn’t be the nice shade of red it is now. I also remember reminding myself to check out the shade that comes when you mix, light yellow with red. And then I became paranoid, cause for more than a couple of years, I have become obsessed with having colourless pee and I keep drinking truckloads of water to ensure that and now with the whole pee in blood scenario, my obsession has become a necessity, that is, if I don’t want my blood to loose its lovely hue. So ya, like I was saying, I get the weirdest thoughts when I am in pain.

In other news, my friend A got married. Honestly, I never thought she would get married. Why? Cause I never thought anybody could stand her. Well, she ain’t that bad and she’s mildly pleasing in short bursts but for life is a lil too much. I know, I know I sound bitchy, but this feels nice. Really! Anyways, I guess nobody is unbearable. There is somebody to bear everybody. That’s comforting, don’t you think dairykins? I think I prefer people bear hugging me, to just bearing me. Oh and A, I know you are gonna read this. Well, you always knew this is the way I felt about you na? So chill and have an exciting honeymoon. Rock on \m/

Thats about it all. I love you diarykins and I love you more for patiently listening to me rant. You rock chicki!!! Muah!

Published in: on June 16, 2008 at 6:54 am  Comments (9)  
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This post has no title..

Dear Diary,

Today was scary. I woke up from a dream where I was BALD. Can you imagine? Me, the hair obsessed woman, who will think 20 million times before having a centimeter of my hair cut was Bald (yes, with a capital B. Its an important thing for me, this being Bald business) and whats interesting was that, I dint seem half as bothered about this in my dream as I am now. Dreams make me jittery. Well, not all dreams, but some of them like this. Cause I then spend the rest of the day wondering if the powers were trying to tell me something or if its a warning that I’m gonna be losing all my hair soon or something to that effect. Somehow which ever route I chose to follow, it all ends with me dying. So you see, its hardly surprising how I become jittery when I see dreams like these. But at the same time, these dreams are few and faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar in between. At most othertimes, I have dreams that I like to remember and don’t mind musing over the entire day, like Saurav Ganguly hiding out under my bed in the girl’s hostel or how Raikkanon came to Kerala and how no one recognised him but me and how we made him yummy biriyani and stuff like that. You get the drift na, happy dreams, they make up most of my sleeping hours. 9 out of 10 times, I remember my dreams completely, which is both good and bad at once.Its a curse. I realise that. With great powers like these comes great responsibilities and I need to handle them well. (Well, in the ‘Quick guide to knowing me’, I did tell you how fond I am of making profound statements na, well, this is your live example.)

Diarykins, today was also my niece’s first ever day in school. She looked adorable in the tiny uniform and what was the cutest was the way she looked all determined and how she had set her face in this this-is-not-child’s play kind of look. I could see that my sister was having a hard time letting the little one go. I mean, its not like she is going forever , but in someways this is the beginning of letting go. Once you begin school, then time just flies and before you know it she will be in college with a complete different set of priorities and somehow that complete dependence on you, that you so treasure now, will be gone. I guess its difficult for mothers to accept and I know that my sister knows that this is the beginning of ‘letting go’ which makes it all the more harder for her. Phew! thats enough of serious talk for today. Now, coming back to my niece, today while she was getting ready for school, she kept up this non stop talk about how she will become a doctor when she grows up (Check out these kids, they have plans already. I was clueless till I was 13. I dint even wanna be anything until then) and then suddenly she changed her mind and decided to be a police officer and this went on and on. So, at the end of it all, my sister was like, I hope you study hard so that you can become whatever you want when you grow up. At this my niece looked visibly shocked and she said, “What studies? I thought you just grew up and became someone..Do we have to study for it?” LOL.

That was the first time I thought about it. Its funny na, how we always talk about growing up and becoming something,, but studies never figure in the equation. No one ever says ‘ I wanna grow up and study hard and become a doctor.’ Its always, ‘ I wanna grow up and become a doctor’, like becoming something is the side effect of growing up. Its mildly funny how it took a four year old to point it out. Imagine how she must have felt when she figured studies are a part of the equation. She looked positively cheated. πŸ˜€ Poor lil thing.

Anyways, I guess those are the major incidents for day. I gotta split now. See ya soon Diarykins!! Muah!!

– Me!!

PS: I dont like this title business. What do I do about posts like these for which I cant think of any? :(:( Ban the titles I say!! πŸ˜›

Published in: on June 9, 2008 at 6:48 am  Comments (8)  
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**Drumroll**

Isn’t it amazing how cool a manicure makes you feel? I mean its not so much of a pampering like a massage is but it still makes you feel good. I can’t stop showing off my pretty fingers and I have decided that I’m gonna get them regularly, at a parlour. No more doing it yourself. No more lop sided filing, I’m getting professional help. And just in case you missed it the first time, I repeat, my perfectly shaped fingers looks absolutely glorious typing away on the keyboard.

So, in tune with my newly shaped and pretty looking fingers, which by the way, also looks very professional (Yes, fingers can look professional) I have decided to organise my hitherto messy life as well. **Applause** But first for the uninitiated, a quick guide to knowing me, what makes me me.. (This makes me feel sooo important πŸ™‚ )

You know its me when:

  • There is music in the background, always, and 9 out of 10 times it will be the same song on continuous loop (Current Fav is ” Kabhi Kabhi Aditi from Jaane Tu Ya Janne Na. I cant get enough of it. That man, Rehman is a genius)
  • Profound statements are made because I think they sound so cool coming from my mouth, when in effect they don’t
  • When tomorrow really never comes
  • When you are called a bitch for looking pretty and having the perfect figure. Yes, I hate pretty chicks
  • A bottle of conditioner lasts only three weeks. Strand by strand washing of hair is a normal event
  • When melodrama is a way of life. Every expression is exaggerated
  • When renditions of ‘ Hey There Delilah’ can unfailingly be heard post midnight. (Don’t ask me why but I always feel extremely musical after midnight)
  • When you hear serious conversations going on between me and my hair. Really, all you need is to talk to them on bad hair days. They listen. All they need is to know that you care
  • When every new curl on my perfectly straight(ened) hair is greeted with a BIIIIIIIG SIGH
  • When “Oh ya lets” is the how every idea is received, even if they are seemingly stupid. Like going out for ice creams at 3 in the morning, with absolutely no money in hand
  • When ‘fat assed’ chicks make your day. Only cause they make my ass look smaller in comparison. Yes, I’m all for comparative studies these days
  • When diet charts are painstakingly prepared and then promptly forgotten
  • When pretending to be drunk, which btw I think makes me look cute, is the high point of my girl’s night out
  • When chocolate is irresistible. Even prawns dipped in chocolate works. Anything in chocolate goes and ice creams are good for breakfast
  • When there are tears everywhere. Movies, music, an unexpected call from my friend, a beautiful picture, my nieces’ antics, anything and everything makes me cry.. 😦

So there, thats the not so quick guide to identifying me. Now to what I would like to change about my life? Aah..Lets keep that for another post, shall we? πŸ™‚

PS: Actually, there ain’t anything for me to PS about here but then all my other posts have a PS and I dint want this one to feel left out.

Published in: on June 7, 2008 at 6:14 am  Comments (7)  
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