Just some random stuff

Dear Diary,

Life is really unfair. Its biased and totally partial to its favourites. How else do you explain this “player’ who has slept with every thing remotely resembling a woman, and then insisting that he “deserves” a virgin for a wife and then **gasp** getting one. I don’t get it. Oh well, we wouldnt really know if she is a virgin now, would we? Oh please God..just this once, I’ll never pray for another non virgin in my life again..please please please..let her not be a virgin..in fact..go ahead God, break a leg, make her a slut. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase!! That would be just so perfect. See, the question is not about virginity here..its about hypocrisy. I mean, you cry yourself hoarse about how overrated virginity is and is the pioneer for premarital sex and all that and when finally your turn comes to get “settled”, you decide to push all your so far staunch beliefs to the deepest darkest corner of your cupboard and formulate a new set of beliefs to swear by. Now if this aint hypocrisy then I don’t know what is and whats worse diarykins, is that when you ask him about the double standards, he brushes the question aside by saying, “Its a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand.” What the fuck? Take a second and explain this to me, so what is it about a man that I don’t understand here? what is this “guy thing”?? Is it the Tom Cruise philosophy,Respect the cock, tame the cunt? Seriously, do you even for a second think we don’t get that? do you think we don’t understand your alternate heart down there? You think we don’t get it when you insist that you think with your heart? And I hate the double standards, you want an adventurous girlfriend who’s game for most things but when it comes to a wife, you want a nice innocent homely type. Well, get over it. We can play the ‘nice innocent homely type’ very convincingly, you see.  Well, I dont mean to be disrespectful to all the men and I know that I’m making sweeping generalisations here, but wth diarykins, I feel vindictive today! Grrrrrr..

Oh and Ive realised that pain makes me think about the weirdest things. That, and that my threshold for pain is abysmally low. If I dint know better, I would have thought that my tolerance for pain is receding every month. Not far is the day when I am gonna pass out from pain from an ant bite. I wish I was a lil more like S who says she enjoys pain. Oh yes, she like piercings and tattoos more for the pain that goes with it than anything else. I dont wanna be like her, I dont wanna ever enjoy pain, but I cant help wishing I was more like her in terms of the tolerance for pain. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghh!! Child birth!!! I think I’m gonna just pass out from the prospect of so much pain. 😐 😐

And bout those weird thoughts, yesterday I was in pain (Long story..I almost died..more on that later) and in between the whole painful experience, I couldn’t help thinking, how If I walked on my hands, my pee could actually flow inside and how my bladder could literally blast from being too full and how then my blood would get mixed with my pee and I would have stinky blood and how my blood wouldn’t be the nice shade of red it is now. I also remember reminding myself to check out the shade that comes when you mix, light yellow with red. And then I became paranoid, cause for more than a couple of years, I have become obsessed with having colourless pee and I keep drinking truckloads of water to ensure that and now with the whole pee in blood scenario, my obsession has become a necessity, that is, if I don’t want my blood to loose its lovely hue. So ya, like I was saying, I get the weirdest thoughts when I am in pain.

In other news, my friend A got married. Honestly, I never thought she would get married. Why? Cause I never thought anybody could stand her. Well, she ain’t that bad and she’s mildly pleasing in short bursts but for life is a lil too much. I know, I know I sound bitchy, but this feels nice. Really! Anyways, I guess nobody is unbearable. There is somebody to bear everybody. That’s comforting, don’t you think dairykins? I think I prefer people bear hugging me, to just bearing me. Oh and A, I know you are gonna read this. Well, you always knew this is the way I felt about you na? So chill and have an exciting honeymoon. Rock on \m/

Thats about it all. I love you diarykins and I love you more for patiently listening to me rant. You rock chicki!!! Muah!

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Published in: on June 16, 2008 at 6:54 am  Comments (9)  
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This post has no title..

Dear Diary,

Today was scary. I woke up from a dream where I was BALD. Can you imagine? Me, the hair obsessed woman, who will think 20 million times before having a centimeter of my hair cut was Bald (yes, with a capital B. Its an important thing for me, this being Bald business) and whats interesting was that, I dint seem half as bothered about this in my dream as I am now. Dreams make me jittery. Well, not all dreams, but some of them like this. Cause I then spend the rest of the day wondering if the powers were trying to tell me something or if its a warning that I’m gonna be losing all my hair soon or something to that effect. Somehow which ever route I chose to follow, it all ends with me dying. So you see, its hardly surprising how I become jittery when I see dreams like these. But at the same time, these dreams are few and faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar in between. At most othertimes, I have dreams that I like to remember and don’t mind musing over the entire day, like Saurav Ganguly hiding out under my bed in the girl’s hostel or how Raikkanon came to Kerala and how no one recognised him but me and how we made him yummy biriyani and stuff like that. You get the drift na, happy dreams, they make up most of my sleeping hours. 9 out of 10 times, I remember my dreams completely, which is both good and bad at once.Its a curse. I realise that. With great powers like these comes great responsibilities and I need to handle them well. (Well, in the ‘Quick guide to knowing me’, I did tell you how fond I am of making profound statements na, well, this is your live example.)

Diarykins, today was also my niece’s first ever day in school. She looked adorable in the tiny uniform and what was the cutest was the way she looked all determined and how she had set her face in this this-is-not-child’s play kind of look. I could see that my sister was having a hard time letting the little one go. I mean, its not like she is going forever , but in someways this is the beginning of letting go. Once you begin school, then time just flies and before you know it she will be in college with a complete different set of priorities and somehow that complete dependence on you, that you so treasure now, will be gone. I guess its difficult for mothers to accept and I know that my sister knows that this is the beginning of ‘letting go’ which makes it all the more harder for her. Phew! thats enough of serious talk for today. Now, coming back to my niece, today while she was getting ready for school, she kept up this non stop talk about how she will become a doctor when she grows up (Check out these kids, they have plans already. I was clueless till I was 13. I dint even wanna be anything until then) and then suddenly she changed her mind and decided to be a police officer and this went on and on. So, at the end of it all, my sister was like, I hope you study hard so that you can become whatever you want when you grow up. At this my niece looked visibly shocked and she said, “What studies? I thought you just grew up and became someone..Do we have to study for it?” LOL.

That was the first time I thought about it. Its funny na, how we always talk about growing up and becoming something,, but studies never figure in the equation. No one ever says ‘ I wanna grow up and study hard and become a doctor.’ Its always, ‘ I wanna grow up and become a doctor’, like becoming something is the side effect of growing up. Its mildly funny how it took a four year old to point it out. Imagine how she must have felt when she figured studies are a part of the equation. She looked positively cheated. 😀 Poor lil thing.

Anyways, I guess those are the major incidents for day. I gotta split now. See ya soon Diarykins!! Muah!!

– Me!!

PS: I dont like this title business. What do I do about posts like these for which I cant think of any? :(:( Ban the titles I say!! 😛

Published in: on June 9, 2008 at 6:48 am  Comments (8)  
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