So,which marriage will you be having? – Part 2

Ahem..So, remember the Part 1? Well, this is Part 2, which I’m sure you have figured out by now.

Ok, quick recap for the uninitiated. My friend from America is tired of searching for her Mr. Right and wants to settle for an arranged marriage, which according to her is so hassle free. Well, more blah blah blah..blah blah blah later, somehow I was entrusted with the all important task of giving her 10 reasons as to why she should go for an arranged marriage and 10 reasons why it should be a love marriage. The arranged marriage bit has already been done with, which thanks to your generous contribution of ideas, just did not go beyond 6 reasons. Grrrr… Somehow, I still havn’t come to terms with the fact that I, who belong to a country where arranged marriage is a way of life, couldnt even come up with 10 reasons supporting it. 😦

Anyways, now presenting **Drumroll** 10 reasons as to why, a love marriage is the way to go.

1) Well, the most simplest reason will have to be that, you know who you are getting married to..and better still you are actually in love with him. You are attracted to him and you don’t have to spend nights praying to God that you hope you are attracted to him. Don’t raise your eyebrows, I know of people, ok relatives, who have gotten married without having even spoken to their partner even once. Yup, one look at the photograph somehow sufficed. So ya, in a love marriage, you know the guy and what greater joy than getting married to the man you love.

2) Physical compatibility. Oh yes, no unwanted surprises on the first night. You know he/she will turn you on. Imagine, getting married and realising that he does nothing to stir you. Forget the fire in your loins. There is not even a spark there..**Shudder**

3) You know for a fact that he/she is straight. Dont, gimme that look. You think I’m exaggerating? Really people, this finding out that the only thing straight about your partner is his hair, is becoming more common everyday. I personally know somebody who strongly suspects that her partner is gay. You know how we deal with homosexuality in India right?. Besides being a punishable offense, its not really something that happens to us, its exclusive to the west and if it does happen, then its definitely curable. The cure? Marriage of course, after a while they will outgrow their ‘weirdness’. Hang on, this is not me talking, I’m merely echoing the mentality of the average Indian parents. So ya, in a love marriage, atleast you are sure he is straight.

4) You will forever be the symbol of romance to the breed of 12-14 olds in the family. This might just be exclusive to India. You will be the embodiment of romance to them. I stll remember how when one of my friend’s sister had a love marriage, all of us were secretly thrilled. We were all fresh from watching Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge and her insistence to get married to her lover was complete WOW material for us. We’ve spent many evenings thinking if we will ever find our man and when we do, if we will ever dare disobey our parents and walk out with him. Though, my secret desire always always has been the climax of DDLJ. Aah!! Ive replayed that more than a million times in my lil head.

Oh well, thats how far I got with my list. Not that I couldn’t think of more, but all of them seemed extremely exclusive to India and I dint see the point in giving those reason to my AF ( American friend). Well anyways, she liked both the lists, though it did nothing to clear her confusion. She is as muddled as ever and has almost given up hope of ever being married. Last heard, she was looking for a tall, educated, well earning Italian to take sperm samples from. 😐

PS: Hey there, tall, educated, well earning Italian..Are you listening?

PPS: Is it just me, or does the new series of Airtel ads featuring Vidya Balan and Madhavan give you a warm fuzzy feeling in the tummy?

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Published in: on June 29, 2008 at 6:33 am  Comments (22)  
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22 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. heyy.. that made an interesting read.. those were some solid reasons! i hope ur friend finds her soulmate quickly!
    And i’d like to add to that list:
    If u do a love marriage, and it fails, you dont blame your parents and relatives. You know that it was entirely your call, and you yourself are responsible for the mess. I think that takes a lot of pressure off, coz then you know it’s ur life and u are the one who made it the wat it is.
    Ok.. i know it sounds similar to the Jab We Met theory!

  2. ya i agree with wht u say there
    but u mentioned 4 reasons

    and ya…those ads kinda get me a bit sad 😦

  3. Both of these made interesting reads… Love or arranged, the responsibility of making it work is on both of them..

    And I love those ads…Just makes me feel sooooooooooooooo nie!!!

  4. NICE**

  5. 1. Theres this book called ‘For Matrimonial Purposes’ that ur friend should read
    2. Airtel ads- it was kinda sweet in the beginning, but later, I kinda got incensed by seeing them almost everywhere, including the backs of BTS buses when waiting at the traffic signal

  6. Both the posts were very realistic and well-written!!

    🙂

    Good job!!

  7. Ok good enough reasons for me to fight my parents. And reason No 3…..Hint: Chris. Ok enough.

    But then seriously I will choose love thing over the arranged thing any day!

    Cheers!

    PS: I will be blogrolling someone soon!

  8. In case of love marriage, there are less compromises, especially for a girl. She ties the knot on her own terms… works if she wants to… supports her parents if there be a need… If it is truly a “Love” marriage then the hubby or in-laws do not have much qualms about these trifle things.

  9. Hi ,

    I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be wow.. u write well.. Why don’t you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘Terminalrant’s Weblog’ took my particular attention. the marriage post was especially amusing.

    BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run http://www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

    This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. 🙂

    Cheers,

  10. Well, love marriage it is for me!
    I love the look of your blog!
    Yup, the Airtel adds give me the ibbityjibbuities (watched Madagascar?) too! 🙂

  11. *sigh* yes i do get butterflies in tummy when i see airtel adds, Does this tell anything to you? Yes, Please tell me that too…

  12. I like the template of ur blog… light and clear…subtle color combination….About marriage, well I m too small to comment on that but airtel ad – I liked the new vidya baalan and mahadevan ones!! Husband-wife chemistry!!

    http://www.anuragarch.blogspot.com

  13. Marriage? Isn’t anyone interested in live-in relationships anymore. What’s the world coming to!(Sigh!)

    Bus seriously, I am a serious taker for love marriage. In my opinion, this is the only true marriage, for the simple fact that this allows a marriage of all faculties of the two persons involved, and not just in terms of the law or of rituals.

    For the arranged marriage couples that have worked, here’s a message from me: you have *no* idea how lucky you are!

    -furi

  14. Ahh, those Airtel ads just get me bugged. I’ve got the single blues maybe, or its just sour grapes 😀

    You know, strange but true, it would sometimes be better with an arranged marriage. It would be such an adventure. Of course, you make sure he’s straight, and shaves his armpits so there’s no BO 😀

  15. That you’re a mush at heart maybe?! :p

  16. interesting article….
    Airtel ad is surely romantic.. But disadvantage of love marriage… is tht.. the love is not der many a times after marriage.. things change..

  17. Hi ,

    I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be very good.. u write well.. Why don’t you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘Terminalrant’s Weblog’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

    BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run http://www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

    This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. 🙂

    Cheers,

  18. well interesting.. very much..
    n became sort very stright-forwardor provocative for few in the middle i guess.. lol
    anyway nice exploration… 🙂

    http://muddleheaded.wordpress.com

  19. Some other important points I could add in that list

    –> Your goals and ambitions in life are on the same lines. If not on similar lines, you are at least aware of your other half’s plans. So you are not in for a shock if for example , after a few months of marriage he declares he wants to migrate to another country, something which he had not disclosed before. (Just an example)
    This could as well happen in a love marriage, but the scenario would be much different since you would know what to expect from someone you know.
    –> If you have known the guy for quite a long time, you have known his family too and he yours. So adjusting with each others families, although different backgrounds (if it is an inter caste/inter religion one) is much easier than dealing with ‘new’ in laws.

    🙂

  20. 1st time on your blog!

    I have one more reason to go for an arranged marriage though…

    If it doesn’t work out you can always blame it on someone else! hehaha! wat say?!

    But there is no way in hell am i marrying someone chosen to be my “life partner” by someone else!! that’s a scary thought!

  21. Mine is an arranged marriage and I often feel that I couldn’t have got a more suitable partner than the one I have. But still, I often wish ours had been a love marriage, so that I would have looked forward to the marriage instead of fearing it would end up in disaster!

    Anyway, keep writing Ninitha! Makes nice reading! 🙂

  22. Hey, a real nice read, i came across your blog through blogadda, and even i’ve written something on the lines of these marriages on my blog……if you wish you can visit there the post is called ” Criteria’s of Arranged Marriages”
    Cheers!


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