World domination, here they come…

In retrospect, I think that perhaps we were better off without these darn social networking sites. Yes, i mean Orkut, Facebook and million others. Life was simpler, ‘ keep in touch’ meant more than just send me a scrap, evenings meant hanging out with friends, realtime and not online. Life was easier and to an extent I think life was more genuine. I don’t mean to rob these sites of its glory, oh no, thats not the idea cause I know there are millions out there who will swear by these sites but point here is that these sites have steady taken over our lives and we haven’t even realised it or even if we have, we don’t seem to care.  Hell, I dint even realise how my life had begun to revolve around it until last month when I suddenly realised that I seem to be spending most of my waking hours on these sites, a window leading to these sites was always..ALWAYS open, lest I miss an interesting discussion in a community, or I miss a scrap or whatever. Reasons are plenty. Tons of people have forgotten to sleep too . For what? To post, to argue , to basically not miss a beat of your online life.

I think its all the same. Remember the earlier chatroom addiction? When everyone was online randomly chatting away wiith some stranger who claimed to be 25/M/Sydney or 19/F/Dhaka or whatever. When we shed our realtime persona and became the person whom we always dreamt of becoming? Well, this is just that, except its got a dignified tag this time around, social networking.

Its funny how the first thing we say when asked about these sites is that they reconnected you with long lost friends. True. Very true, for it does. But with how many of those reconnected friends are we truly in touch with? Was it worth reconnecting? Did you want to reconnect? I remember getting this friend request from someone who claimed to have gone to the same college I did. His claim to friendship was that he has seen me around in the canteen a few times. Well, if we was so keen on being my friend, why dint he just speak to me then? Why wait till you stumble on my profile on orkut and then talk? I don’t understand the logic behind it.

There are times when I miss the long telephonic conversations with friends, catching up on all the news about our mutual friends. Those emails/letters that come with news of how a certain X went from being single to hooked, how Y left India and how Z got a job. Somehow listening to them from your friend who painstakingly collected these information from another friend and now expects you to pass it on to your friends, cannot me matched by the auto generated Updates that most of these sites have. The charm is lost. The excitement is missing.

But we’ve gained new friends too. From amidst the ten million people we see online every day in every community, one or two tend to become good friends. Friends who are tangible, friends who seem like people you went to school with, friends so real that you forget you found them online. And for those few friends, dear networking site, I thank you. I really do.  But you have effectively made the term ‘ Friends’ lose its morality too.  Everyone is a friend online, even if you dont know them. Sad!

Oh and the communities, interesting they are cause its a replica of a college, each community. Each of them have its own ‘resident bitch‘, who will sweet talk you in the community and then talk behind you in IM’s. A ‘mother hen’, who is busy pairing up her kids and is constantly checking after your well being in your online hours, a ‘know it all ‘ who will point out every little mistake in your posts and whats more, will correct it and send you ten thousand links to prove their point, a ‘bully’ who likes taunting, even if its just online, a ‘PYT ‘ who has the boys vying for her attention and a ‘hunk’ who will have girls eating out of his hands. We have them all, even the ’slut/sex crazed manic’ who cannot make a point without the cover of innuendos. These and so many more specimens, you just need to look and they are all there, one big seemingly happy family. Just one question, Don’t we have enough of them in our lives without having to add the online versions as well?  Just a random question.

They are all interesting, all there, all present and all so weirdly addictive that inspite of it all, you tend to place them over your realtime life, your realtime friends. Look at that, friends and life are not just friends and life anymore, they have cateogries, realtime and online.

So, what was I saying? Oh ya, yes, in retrospect, I still think we were better off without them darn social networking sites.

This post has no title..

Dear Diary,

Today was scary. I woke up from a dream where I was BALD. Can you imagine? Me, the hair obsessed woman, who will think 20 million times before having a centimeter of my hair cut was Bald (yes, with a capital B. Its an important thing for me, this being Bald business) and whats interesting was that, I dint seem half as bothered about this in my dream as I am now. Dreams make me jittery. Well, not all dreams, but some of them like this. Cause I then spend the rest of the day wondering if the powers were trying to tell me something or if its a warning that I’m gonna be losing all my hair soon or something to that effect. Somehow which ever route I chose to follow, it all ends with me dying. So you see, its hardly surprising how I become jittery when I see dreams like these. But at the same time, these dreams are few and faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar in between. At most othertimes, I have dreams that I like to remember and don’t mind musing over the entire day, like Saurav Ganguly hiding out under my bed in the girl’s hostel or how Raikkanon came to Kerala and how no one recognised him but me and how we made him yummy biriyani and stuff like that. You get the drift na, happy dreams, they make up most of my sleeping hours. 9 out of 10 times, I remember my dreams completely, which is both good and bad at once.Its a curse. I realise that. With great powers like these comes great responsibilities and I need to handle them well. (Well, in the ‘Quick guide to knowing me’, I did tell you how fond I am of making profound statements na, well, this is your live example.)

Diarykins, today was also my niece’s first ever day in school. She looked adorable in the tiny uniform and what was the cutest was the way she looked all determined and how she had set her face in this this-is-not-child’s play kind of look. I could see that my sister was having a hard time letting the little one go. I mean, its not like she is going forever , but in someways this is the beginning of letting go. Once you begin school, then time just flies and before you know it she will be in college with a complete different set of priorities and somehow that complete dependence on you, that you so treasure now, will be gone. I guess its difficult for mothers to accept and I know that my sister knows that this is the beginning of ‘letting go’ which makes it all the more harder for her. Phew! thats enough of serious talk for today. Now, coming back to my niece, today while she was getting ready for school, she kept up this non stop talk about how she will become a doctor when she grows up (Check out these kids, they have plans already. I was clueless till I was 13. I dint even wanna be anything until then) and then suddenly she changed her mind and decided to be a police officer and this went on and on. So, at the end of it all, my sister was like, I hope you study hard so that you can become whatever you want when you grow up. At this my niece looked visibly shocked and she said, “What studies? I thought you just grew up and became someone..Do we have to study for it?” LOL.

That was the first time I thought about it. Its funny na, how we always talk about growing up and becoming something,, but studies never figure in the equation. No one ever says ‘ I wanna grow up and study hard and become a doctor.’ Its always, ‘ I wanna grow up and become a doctor’, like becoming something is the side effect of growing up. Its mildly funny how it took a four year old to point it out. Imagine how she must have felt when she figured studies are a part of the equation. She looked positively cheated. Poor lil thing.

Anyways, I guess those are the major incidents for day. I gotta split now. See ya soon Diarykins!! Muah!!

- Me!!

PS: I dont like this title business. What do I do about posts like these for which I cant think of any? :( Ban the titles I say!!

On the big screen..

How many times have we watched a movie and wished it happened to us in real time? How many times have we come home from the movies and imitated the hero/heroine or whatever it is that has caught our fancy? How many times have we desperately yet silently prayed to God to make our lives half as interesting as the last movie we saw? Well, I for one have and a million times atleast. Infact, we all have at some point or the other wished our life were the movies, wished we had a picture perfect ending and that everyone lived happily ever after.

So, keeping in mind this undying and not so subconscious desire to be a part of the film world, I humbly present before you..**Extended Drumroll** (Notice how every major announcement sounds so much more cooler when preceded by a drumroll? Whoever thought of using the drumroll to built anxiety was a genious)

TERMINAL RANT’s LIST OF MOVIE SCENES SHE WISH SHE WERE A PART OF!! (Ta da!!!!)

• The climax of Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. The slow moving train, a bloody yet somehow cute looking Shahruk Khan with an outstretched arm and the embodiment of the strict and stern fathers the world over, Amrish Puri mouthing what has by now become almost legendary, “Jaa Beti, Jee le apni Zindagi (for the benefit of my non Hindi speaking friends, the line translates to, ‘Go my girl, live your life’, though it somehow sounds way much cooler in Hindi) and finally me..Flashing a grateful smile at my father and running along the still slow moving train ( no wonder our trains are always late) and into the arms of my love. Hmmmmmmmmmm!!! I’ve played this scene a million times in my head and it just keeps getting better everytime. Though I’m positive that in realtime, I would a tripped a million times before finally getting into the train.

• The black n white car scene in Kill Bill. Reasons are simple enough, I like to kick butts and inspite of all the gore, I still like the idea of a girl out to get revenge. I love the yellow tracksuit, I love the action and most of all, I like the way she says ” And when I get there, I’m gonna Kill Bill”, complete with wind in her hair and the continuous oscillation of her head and that uber sexy back ground score. Aah! The ultimate power trip!

• Any fight sequence from the Tomb Raider series. The pout-y action figure not just gets the guys drooling their life out but also manages to excite more than a few women. I mean, really, long jet black hair, a perfectly filled figure and the handling of mean machines with aplomb. I like the idea of looking feminine and then kicking more than my share of ‘villainous’ butts. How thoroughly dreamlike and enjoyable. Oh yes, I played this sequence in my head, a lot.

• Sharon Stone’s leg-crossing interrogation scene in the Basic Instinct. Why? Go figure!

• The last scene from the Titanic. Well, technically not the last scene but the scene where Jack dies. **Sniff**. How tragic! I could just picture myself there, a pretty picture of both grief and determination at the same time. It does feel a tad silly now, but when the movie released, I spend good many nights crying myself to sleep cause I was Rose and I had just lost my Jack.

• The pot making scene from Ghost. What? Its a good make out scene. Very sensuous. A Woman has her needs, you see.

• The scene where Maria falls in love with the Captain in The Sound of Music. Well, technically its falling in love with your boss but something about the way it was handled doesn’t make it look tacky at all. ” So somewhere in my youth or childhood,I must have done something good”, and that song is another reason along with the extremely yummy captain. Well, actually the entire movie is worth replaying in my head but something about this scene means more.

• Jodie Foster’s introduction scene in The Silence of the Lambs – Wow, the slow long tense walk to Hannibal Lecter’s cell. I think I could have added a tad more dignity to it. Like I said, I think. There is something about that scene and something so chilling about the way, Mr. Lecter urges Foster closer to his cell, “Closer, please. Clo-ser”. Positively creepy yet highly replayable in my head.

• A Sooraj Bharjatiya heroine. I know this is not a scene but Ive imagined me being the ultimate SB heroine all my life. She, a Sooraj Bharjatiya heroine is everything I’m not, she is shy, she is silent, she is demure, she is the embodiment of the Bharatiya Nari, she is so innocent and so nice and everybody loves her and oh ya, she is incapable of hurting anyone, even if she wanted to. So you see, I couldn’t bear to be like that for life, but I sure dont mind being that in intervals, which is most often right after I watch one of his flicks.

Well, this is just a few from the top of my head. Think a lil deeper and Im sure there are tons more. But like I always say, lets keep it for another day shall we? and ya, if there are any scenes you think is worth replaying in my head, drop me line, wont you? There is always room for more melodrama.

PS: What is with me and this compulsive need to make lists of late? First it was the bucket list, then a list of the things from the past that we love, then came the list to identifying me and now this! Do all women..wait..this might not be exclusive to women, so lemme rephrase, so do all of mankind go through this list making spree at some point or the other? or am I the latest victim of OCLMD (Obsessive Compulsive List Making DIsorder)? But what the heck as long as its an important life changing list (which all my lists are) then I don’t think I should be complaining

**Drumroll**

Isn’t it amazing how cool a manicure makes you feel? I mean its not so much of a pampering like a massage is but it still makes you feel good. I can’t stop showing off my pretty fingers and I have decided that I’m gonna get them regularly, at a parlour. No more doing it yourself. No more lop sided filing, I’m getting professional help. And just in case you missed it the first time, I repeat, my perfectly shaped fingers looks absolutely glorious typing away on the keyboard.

So, in tune with my newly shaped and pretty looking fingers, which by the way, also looks very professional (Yes, fingers can look professional) I have decided to organise my hitherto messy life as well. **Applause** But first for the uninitiated, a quick guide to knowing me, what makes me me.. (This makes me feel sooo important )

You know its me when:

• There is music in the background, always, and 9 out of 10 times it will be the same song on continuous loop (Current Fav is ” Kabhi Kabhi Aditi from Jaane Tu Ya Janne Na. I cant get enough of it. That man, Rehman is a genius)

• Profound statements are made because I think they sound so cool coming from my mouth, when in effect they don’t

• When tomorrow really never comes

• When you are called a bitch for looking pretty and having the perfect figure. Yes, I hate pretty chicks

• A bottle of conditioner lasts only three weeks. Strand by strand washing of hair is a normal event

• When melodrama is a way of life. Every expression is exaggerated

• When renditions of ‘ Hey There Delilah’ can unfailingly be heard post midnight. (Don’t ask me why but I always feel extremely musical after midnight)

• When you hear serious conversations going on between me and my hair. Really, all you need is to talk to them on bad hair days. They listen. All they need is to know that you care

• When every new curl on my perfectly straight(ened) hair is greeted with a BIIIIIIIG SIGH

• When “Oh ya lets” is the how every idea is received, even if they are seemingly stupid. Like going out for ice creams at 3 in the morning, with absolutely no money in hand

• When ‘fat assed’ chicks make your day. Only cause they make my ass look smaller in comparison. Yes, I’m all for comparative studies these days

• When diet charts are painstakingly prepared and then promptly forgotten

• When pretending to be drunk, which btw I think makes me look cute, is the high point of my girl’s night out

• When chocolate is irresistible. Even prawns dipped in chocolate works. Anything in chocolate goes and ice creams are good for breakfast

• When there are tears everywhere. Movies, music, an unexpected call from my friend, a beautiful picture, my nieces’ antics, anything and everything makes me cry..

So there, thats the not so quick guide to identifying me. Now to what I would like to change about my life? Aah..Lets keep that for another post, shall we?

PS: Actually, there ain’t anything for me to PS about here but then all my other posts have a PS and I dint want this one to feel left out.

Good old days

Yesterday was not one of my better days. I didn’t feel too good, I felt alone and I was most dreadfully bored. So, as a part of my ‘Mission Perk Myself Up’, I took a long hot bath, slipped into bed and watched ‘The Sound of Music’ for the 20 millionth time and what do you know? I dint feel so bad anymore.

And that got me thinking..

Why is it that when we wanna feel warm and comforted, we automatically reach for an Enid Blyton?

Why is it that “A Christmas Story’ or ‘The Sound of Music’ is still the chosen movie to huddle under a blanket and watch?

Why is it that an old sweater is the one we slip into when we miss our home?

Why is Sophia Loren still the ultimate sex symbol?

Why do bright sunny days remind us of Harry Belafonte?

Why do the hairstyles of the yesteryears make us feel classy?

Why do we like B/W so much?

Why do our picture of a perfect family still have cottage in outskirts and farmyard in it?

Why is Yul Brynner still getting our hearts thumping?

Why is childhood so precious? So much so that even if he hardly remember it, we still like to think of it fondly.

Why are our first friends always almost our best friends?

Do do we always imagine getting married in an beautiful old church?

Why do old couple in love bring tears to our eyes?

Why do we always turn to Presley when we desperately need a song for the moment?

Why do Beetles still make us smile?

Why is yesterday always preferred to today?

Why is it always the good old days?

What is with us and our strange affinity for the past, for the old? What is it about them that makes us feel special, so reassured? What is it about the ‘old’ that takes the shine off the advanced and improved ‘new’.

I’ve always thought about it and never got an answer. Earlier I thought I was the only one with this affinity but I couldn’t have been more wrong. At first I thought it was cause they reminded us of happier days. But then, I can list a ton of those recent moments in my life too that makes me immensely happy. Hell, I wasn’t even born when half of these things happened and they are in no way related to my childhood, yet they bring a blanket of warmth with them. Why?

I dont know, Ive given up on this search. They make me feel good and I guess thats what counts. But if you guys do know the reason behind it, please feel free to drop a line.

PS: On a totally unrelated note, Don’t you just hate it when you are desperately trying to complete your post and the people around just cant stop talking to you? Aaaarh!! I hate it, hate it, hate it!! **Sigh**